A G.R.O.S.S. War Transcript
Scene 1: The meeting Calvin:Hey,you're back! Well,guess what? The Calvin and Hobbes show is back! (Calvin walks into the door, but when he opens the door, he slams onto the floor.) Hobbes:COME ON! LET'S GO! GET READY! I CAN'T WAIT ALL-DAY! Calvin: Coming! Hobbes: *facepalms* Great... Another G.R.O.S.S Meeting. (Cuts to outside at G.R.O.S.S. HQ) Calvin: This meeting of G.R.O.S.S. will come to order! With Dictator for Life Calvin and President and First Tiger Hobbes Presiding! Hobbes: I wish we have more people... Calvin: Shut up and read last meeting's minutes you furball. Hobbes: Of coruse... (Grabs notes) 8:45 am, Dictator for Life calls meeting to order to aviod impending bad weather. President and First Tiger proposes postponing the meeting, by Dictator for Life refuses. 8:46 am, Dictator for Life orders immediate attack against G.R.O.S.S. Public Enemy Number 1, Susie Derkins, demanding water balloons, a nuclear bomb, a tank, and a SWAT vehicle. President and First Tiger disagrees with weapon choice, offers better solution. Calvin: Well, you told me just to stick to the water balloons! If we want to eradicate Susie, we need better weapons! Hobbes: 8:48 am, Dictator for Life overreacts and gives 10 demerits for no reason. 8:49 AM, Philosophical discussion. Calvin: NO REASON?! You didn't agree with my plan you sissy! Hobbes: There you go again, overreacting. Calvin: Okay, that's it! For insulting me and making me look stupid, you get 10 demerits! Hobbes: Give me as many as you want, I don't care how many you give. Calvin: Okay, just for THAT you get an extra 20 for dissrespecting me! Hobbes: Can I just go along with the minutes so I can get to the part where I found out Susie has started up a club against us? Calvin: WHAT CLUB?! YOU NEVER TOLD ME OF ANYTHING! YOU FURBALL! YOUR GETTING IT GOOD! (Hobbes rolls his eyes.) Hobbes:They're having a meeting over there. Calvin:WHAT??? Give me the binoculars! (Hobbes sighs and hands Calvin the binoculars.) Scene 2: The club (Calvin stares at Susie's back porch,where Candace and Mr.Bun are sitting on lounge chairs with milk and cookies.) Susie:This meeting of the Girls Alliance Against Calvin will now come to order. Candace:Hear,hear! Susie: Today on the agenda we will discuss ways how we can get revenge on Calvin! (Cuts back to Calvin and Hobbes) Calvin: This is an atrocity! I actually have a club to compete with now! I can't let that club be better than ours! Hobbes: Well, you never bring milk and cookies to the meetings. (Calvin glares at Hobbes before grabbing notebook) Calvin: You get 25 demerits for suggesting we copy the enemy, plus another 50 for neglecting to tell your superior of a threat to G.R.O.S.S. (Hobbes rolls eyes) Calvin: Forget whatever we had planned on the agenda today! Our new agenda is to eradicate G.A.A.C. from exsisting! And ship those nincompoops off to a Siberian Gulag! Hobbes: Don't you think the 2nd part is a little unrealistic? Calvin: Well now that you say that, your right. I should just get them shipped off to Alcatraz instead, that would be quicker, easier, and cheaper to do! (Hobbes facepalms) (Cuts to G.A.A.C. meeting) Susie: So any other ideas? Candace: We could try and take his tiger and hold it hostage, then you can beat him up. Susie: Hmm, that's not a bad idea. (Cuts to Calvin hiding behind tree) Calvin: Ready...Aim...FIRE! (Throws water balloon) (Girls get soaked and look at Calvin) Susie: CALVIN YOU IDIOT! Calvin: Yeah? Your the idiot for starting up a club against me! That's why I officially declare war against G.A.A.C! And I will come out supreme, and you chumps will be off to Alcatraz! And I will be vindicated as history's most greatest- (Calvin gets cut off with the girls spraying water out of their water guns at Calvin, and Calvin flees) Calvin: ACK! QUIT SHOOTING! Susie: Serves him right. Now, where were we? Scene 3: The war Calvin: This is madness! Where's the green paint? Hobbes: Over there. Calvin: Thank you. (Calvin grabs the bucket,and fills a water balloon with paint.) Calvin: Alright,the plan is that I go up on Susie's roof and drop the balloon on her. It's a foolproof plan. (The Mission: Impossible theme begins to play. Calvin grabs a ladder and poses it on top of Susie's roof with a paint balloon. He holds the paint balloon over Susie's head. Calvin drops the balloon.) Calvin: Yess!!! (Suddenly, Mrs. Derkins comes outside in the direction the paint balloon is falling. The balloon falls on her. She is covered in green paint.) Calvin: Oh, crud! (Calvin leaps off the roof, and lands in a bush. The next day, Calvin gets back on the roof, and checks for Mrs. Derkins. She is nowhere in sight. Calvin drops the paint balloon, and it drops on Susie.) Susie: AAAUUUGGGHHH!!! CALVIN! Calvin: Direct hit! (Cut to Susie and Candace holding Nerf Guns, prepared to shoot anything. A flaming hot dog flies onto the porch. Candace outs it out. Then they shoot Calvin repeatedly. Shows a montage of Calvin and Susie having a war.) Calvin: This war has to end! It's time to bring out our secret weapon! Scene 4: The secret weapon (Calvin grabs two water balloons, grabs a few pebbles, fills the balloons with the pebbles, and fills it with water.) Hobbes: What are those? Calvin: Water balloons with rocks in them. It's foolproof. (Calvin walks away.) Hobbes: Hoo boy. This won't end well. I'll be in Calvin's room, reading Captain Napalm. (Calvin sneaks into the bushes, and pulls a slingshot out of his pocket. He launches both balloons.) Susie: Now, meeting ad-(the water balloons with rocks hit both Susie and Candace.) OW! Calvin! I'm telling! Calvin: That won't do any good, I'm a charmer to my parents! (Mrs. Grayson comes outside.) Mrs. Grayson: CALVIN!!! (Calvin leaps in the air, and puts on toy glasses.) Calvin: Who ees thees Khahlveein? Mrs. Grayson: Don't pull that stunt with me, young man. Calvin: OK. (puts the toy glasses away.) What's going on? Mrs. Grayson: Susie's mom just called. Calvin: She's a filthy liar. Mrs. Grayson: She said you put ROCKS in water balloons and hurled them at Susie and Candace! Calvin: That's not true. It was Moe... Mrs. Grayson: Don't lie to me, kid! What do you have to say for yourself? Calvin: Uhhh, victory is ours? (Cut to Calvin being thrown in his room.) Hobbes: I knew this episode wouldn't end well. He'll never learn. End Credits Voice cast for Revenge of the Babysat 2 Tom Kenny as Calvin Owen Wilson as Hobbes Leslie Bibb as Rosalyn Paul Rudd as Tom Grayson Scarlett Johansson as Anna Grayson Voice cast for A G.R.O.S.S. War Tom Kenny as Calvin Owen Wilson as Hobbes Jennifer Lawrence as Susie Derkins Rachel Weisz as Candace Scarlett Johansson as Anna Grayson